just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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