you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Well I just put wine in my tea
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
