so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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