When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
