Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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