I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
