id be glad to
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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