You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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