My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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