He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize