Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
