Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
