omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
