my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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