So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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