my mouth tastes like poor choices
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i think i just lost a toe
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