David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
