You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize