Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
