HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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