Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
