sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
