Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I want to fling myself into the sun
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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