Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
