Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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