I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
