So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
