i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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