Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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