I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
