the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
