shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
