I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
