best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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