Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
