He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
