Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
