While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
