i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
