Are we in a gay sports bar?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
