ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
this hospital has no fireball
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
