Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
