I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
