After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
