The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I intend to get homeless drunk
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
