Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
