we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
