If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
