hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
