Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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