I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
