I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
We named our party play list daddy issues
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
