i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
