Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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