my mouth tastes like poor choices
barbara walters just said penis...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize