You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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