I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
