Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
