Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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