i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
