Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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