Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
