Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(626): View more from California

I bet he comes in French.

Fav 5 2155 840
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(440): View more from Ohio

Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?

(1-440): View more from Ohio

because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?

Fav 20 5705 876
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(817): View more from Texas

i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.

Fav 101 6045 2003
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.

Fav 9 3548 1384
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(316): View more from Kansas

I was tackling you out of excitement

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.

Fav 3 1569 849
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(702): View more from Nevada

Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.

Fav 1 1902 675
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(775): View more from Nevada

Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one

Fav 7 553 1362
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(907): View more from Alaska

He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination

Fav 0 174 80
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(404): View more from Georgia

Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!

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