Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
