Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
