Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
